It is said among the wise that we humans have no enemies whatsoever except for two. Our self-indulgence, which lights such a fire of limitless desires within us that eventually our faith is scarred by ingratitude and our wills are burnt to the ashes of bitter disappointments. And Satan; who turns the scorching heat of our life’s trials into such a haze of uncertainty that sooner or later we begin to question our own beliefs and principles. Working together, they make us lose our faith in the love of our Creator, the wisdom of His plans for us, the ways of His Beloved, and in our own abilities.
As a result life appears to us, a black and bleak place; a colorless void of sorrow and sadness; of consuming regrets and crushing guilt.
However, it is also in times such as these that you come to a better understanding of yourself. You have to confront yourself and reaffirm the very source of your beliefs and your personality. If they are mere expressions of a wishful-thinking, if they are only products of a family-upbringing, then you are likely to fall into Satan’s trap. You would have to battle him hard to defeat him and truly embrace the truth of your principles.
Few years back, I experienced such a conflict of body and soul; of doubt and faith. For years, people had been telling me that my way of thinking was too idealistic to be practical; that I should consider being realistic. They began taunting me for my Faith by pointing out that had God loved us so, He would not have allowed the massacre of innocent children at A.P.S Peshawar. He would not have murdered all those people who went to Glorify Him at His Home. Satan started weaving such a web of doubts and confusions around my heart that I began suspecting myself to be a burden upon everyone around me; not only on account of my apparently being sightless and having two amputated hands but also because of my beliefs. A few of them even made me a part of immodest jokes and vulgar ridicule. Nevertheless, I kept answering every question with a reluctant reassurance but I finally succumbed to my darkness and despaired, when a friend betrayed my trust; and used me to dishonor another very close friend. Satan got what he wanted and I started breaking down; and thus the battle began.